As we head in to Maundy Thursday we are perhaps more aware than ever of the anguish, fear and despair which Jesus experienced. Perhaps controlling his emotions whilst he shared in fellowship with the disciples and then being overwhelmed when he went in to the garden, alone, to pray. People are using social media and technology to share what they are up to and to video call friends and relatives, we pick up the phone and try to sound “cheery”; but how many of us are disguising the fear, the sense of unknown,the loneliness and the despair which we are really feeling. Can we ever really know what someones garden of Gethsemane experience is at this time? – the battles we are facing on our own? – So a piece, before we pray, by Andy Raine and Paul Cullity:
When families fragment, communities crumble, when there is sudden death, when fathers are absent or leaders fail:
we dare not count the cost of recovery.
…disappointment? hard to voice.
Yes, there is anger encased in numbness, and the question, How can I dare to dream?
God, my whole weight is on Your strong arms:
help me be fragile but strong.
I am not called to be invincible, but to walk, broken, choosing my vulnerability.
Nor is it necessary for me to self-destruct.
Bring me to honest appraisal of all that is past.
Give me Your eyes, Your heart, that together we may be healing the wounds of life.